Almost the Man of My Parents' Dreams

Imagine for a moment that you had a child; a daughter. What kind of man would you want for her? Now compound that with being concerned Jewish parents.  Imagine you are those parents. Do you have that weird fantasy going in your head? Good. Are you in their shoes? Good.

So when I tell you I met the man almost of my concerned Jewish parents’ dreams, you’d probably be interested in knowing who that was. Let me describe the seemingly almost perfect man. 

He was about 5’10, four years older than me, light colored hair that was neatly groomed. A nice beard hugged his boyish face. He dressed plainly and never wore jeans (always khakis). He was soft spoken and always smiled. Nothing about him was threatening in any way, whatsoever. He was in good shape. No kids.  Oh, and did I mention he was studying to be a doctor? Yup. Cardiopulmonary something or other. Besides not being Jewish, he was someone right out of my parents' aspirations for me.

The nickname I used when talking about him was “The Doctor”. The Doctor would text me throughout the day asking me how I was doing or telling me how attractive I was. He would often write the cheesiest lyrics for me.  He’d update me on how his day in surgery went. Asked me if I’d have dinner with him almost every night. Perfect, right?

We had been seeing each other on a regular basis for a month when the topic of where the relationship was going, came up. (No, I wasn’t the one that brought it up.)  I assumed he was alluding to the seriousness of our budding courtship so I voiced my legitimate concern. He was starting his rotations in a few months. They would take him out of town and even out of state for about a year and although I really liked him, I didn’t want to jump right into a serious relationship with someone who wouldn’t be around.

I THOUGHT that was what he was alluding to. (SIGH) What he wanted to know was when we would sleep together. (SILLY ME).  He said he really liked me, wanted to get to know me but needed sex. NEEDED.

While chewing, I thought the matter over. I had no intent of sleeping with anyone. So my suggestion was, that we continue seeing one another. Since I could not provide him with what he wanted, he was free to sleep with as many people as he wanted. The trade off was that I got to date as many people as I wanted. He gleefully agreed.

(Before I go on, I know what you are thinking. How could I even consider it? Well the answer is: I was not and am not jealous. It was not a serious relationship, nor could it be, given the many circumstance. I was fine with getting to know him and with him being honest and upfront with me. It was not an issue as I was not looking for a sexual relationship. Besides, if someone wants to be with me they want to be with me. Otherwise I don’t chase men or make them monogamous and faithful.)

At first things were fine. We would spend time together. Go to dinner and shows and places, etc. I even met his parents (who loved me, by the way).  As time progressed, we would meet up and the first 5-10 minutes he would tell me about the girls he had just “Banged”. This went on for a week or so, with me really not caring.  Other than that, he was his normal sweet self. Still texted throughout the day to tell me he was thinking about me. Still though I was attractive. Blah blah blah.  

(Now remember who is writing this story. Things don’t go well for me, as a rule. )

Then I get the following text:

“Has this been some sort of weird joke where you hang out with me but let other dudes up in your guts?”

I was disgusted with him. We had been going out for almost 3 months at this point. For him to think that about me felt like a slap in the face in more ways than one. I told him that clearly this is not going to work especially since all I was to him was a pile of guts. 

I stopped seeing him, talking to him and texting him. 

Over the next several months he would randomly text me. He’d tell me how he messed up and hoped that I would respond to texts. He would send me texts about how much is parents missed me and hoped we would work things out. He even changed his number in hopes that I would answer him. I ignored him completely.

Then the texts stopped. I thought that I was finally rid of him.

Just the other day (as in a few days ago), guess who texts me? The Doctor.  He starts out wanting to meet to apologize for his rude behavior.

 “I’m sorry for how things happened. Would you be up for coffee or a drink?”

As I do not believe in ignoring someone who is trying to make amends and admitting to a mistake, I give in.  I text back a hello and he continues:

 “I was in love with someone else. I should have never gotten involved with you. I hurt a lot of people. I shouldn’t have lied to you. I broke a lot of hearts.”

Since I was never in love with him, nor did I ever had strong feelings, I had to interject:

 “You didn’t break my heart but you were a jerk.”

He immediately writes:

 “I am a man. We lie to get what we want. “

He then follows that up with:

 “A jerk? Am I not remembering things correctly? I am not one for remembering details. You were looking for commitment. I was having fun with numerous women. Hurting the one [girl] I loved while doing so. I had a lot of people mad at me when I left Rochester.”

I rolled my eyes and texted:

 “Well I was upset about you pressuring me constantly to sleep with you, not about you sleeping with many women.”

(GET READY FOR THE GOOD STUFF)

His honest to goodness, verbatim message to me:

“I didn’t understand why you wouldn’t. Disappointing. I felt I deserved to be able to have sex with you.”

That’s right! He DESERVED to have sex with me.

I retorted with:

 “How’s that entitlement working out for you?”

He didn’t text for a while. I had hoped that he wouldn’t.

An hour later he picked it up again. Telling me about the many women he was with and about the woman that he was in love with who is now his. "MY LADY” as he calls her. He goes on to text a bunch of random none sense about how in love he is and how great it is to finally be honest with his feelings. Then he writes:

 “Maybe we should go back to the Woodcliff :)”

I am confused. What does the Woodcliff have to do with it? (The Woodcliff is a really pricey and beautiful hotel in Rochester. I’ll add the link to the bottom of the page for anyone interested.) I ask him what in the world he’s talking about and mention that he had always told me he was low on cash.

He quizzically replies:

“Didn’t I take you there? I swore it was you. “

I had had enough of this womanizing ego-maniac. I decide to put an end to it:

“Frankly your self entitled attitude is very off putting. I’m kind of limiting my exposure to jerks.“

He attempts to engage me in more conversations but I ignore him. Lets hope that’s the last I hear from this Mr. Wonderful.

http://www.woodcliffhotelspa.com